How To Be More Charismatic In Three Easy Steps

Ask Questions.

It’s that simple. People love when you ask them questions. It’s human nature. And the better questions you ask, the better people will like you.

At a gathering last night after church, a new friend Tiphany recounted that a school teacher had required her class to ask THREE questions of every new encounter. The questions were a part of the examination and grading process. She explained this simple process has changed and enriched her life forever.

Would three worthy questions contain elements of who, what, where, when?

Or would a better questioning phrase contain why?

Or as a therapist would ask, “How does that make you feel?”

What is a question you think would be worthy asking of any encounter or situation?

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18 Responses to “How To Be More Charismatic In Three Easy Steps”

  1. How about this one … “do you speak in tongues”?

    HAHA – sorry, couldn’t resist. (I was literally cornered in the locker room at the health club once, dripping wet just stepping out of showers, on this dialog).

    So to be clear – I AM ONLY KIDDING.

  2. well, hey – laughter does the body good, like a medicine, right?

  3. I like to ask, “Have you determined your purpose in life? What is it and how were you able to discern it?” Long conversations usually follow!

  4. How can I serve you?

  5. What are you passionate about?

  6. David- that’s one of my favorite questions to ask people! :)

  7. Randy,
    I have 3 go-to questions depending on the context.

    1. If you could have any super-power, what would it be?

    2. If Jesus was your intern, what task would you have him do?

    3. If you could do anything, without regard to money or ability, and be successful at it, what would it be?

    I guess the ‘why’ questions would follow up naturally…

  8. How’s your day going?
    Then if I listen closely to their answer, I’ll know what to ask next.

  9. was that in Dallas?? I know of a Pastor who will do just that!

  10. Sorry, Randy, that was supposed to be a reply to @Fred McKinnon.

  11. I have a couple of go-to questions but they lead into each other otherwise they sound like ice breaker questions at a lame party. :)

    I usually start with:

    Where did you grow up?
    “What’s your favorite childhood memory?” or “What’s the best thing about growing up in _______?”

    That usually leads to a lot more questions and give and take…

    because I’m a writer and do a lot of interviewing – I have to be careful to not blast someone with too many questions so they feel like they’re being grilled. I like letting their answers to one question create the next question.

  12. Asking questions is a great way to start talking with someone… but it is best if you observe carefully and see if there is something about the person you can comment about and ask… like if you see really unusual jewelry… I may start by saying how unique or nice it is and maybe ask about where she got it… or if with a child, speak to the moment of what is going on… if reading a book or writing… like if close to a college… I may ask if they attend school, and if they do ask what they are studying… one day I saw a lady drawing ones on a artist pad… I walk by and commenting on how interesting that was and we talked about drawing for a while. I saw a guy smoking a cool looking pipe overlooking a beach and asked him if it was scrimshaw because it had a carved look and we talked a short time about it. If you are a good listener and careful observer and genuinely interested in other people, conversations can be natural and enjoyed by both.

  13. As a sales trainer I suggest one question re-phrased 3 times, if necessary, to get straight to a soul answer: essentially, “How are you?” Ater the initial, “Fine.” follow up with “How’s it going?” And then again. By the third response, assessing a real need in the other peson should be easy. That may get you to “May I ask you a personal question?” An empathetic attitude helps, so be ready to hear the real hurt.

  14. That’s a great question, David. Definitely going to use that.


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