Viral loops, not manifestos, provide the opportunity for unparalleled influence. This is a world in which documents handed down by well-meaning alpha males result in a stifled yawn. However, this same world moves to the edge of their seat upon realizing that the responsibility to change the world need not be their legacy or burden. On the contrary, the creation of culture is the calling from which history speaks.

For example, Compassion International recently asked me to help form a group of influential bloggers for a historic trip to Uganda. A trip in which we visited slums, HIV/Aids hospitals and projects each morning. We then blogged, created video, and recounted stories raw with reality and emotion each afternoon. Thousands of people around the world followed our eight day journey real-time and over 400 children were sponsored and rescued from poverty. The viral loop that was created spawned hundreds of additional posts and offered the opportunity for thousands of additional people to experience the trip in an automagical way.

This “automagic” tested the corporate structure of Compassion. The trip was completely out of their control. The blog posts were not softened or censored and the videos and art spawned were not pre-approved by the marketing department. The servant leaders of this large organization flexed and collaborated to create culture.

Servant leaders have the ability to provide a new type of leadership. A collaborative mentoring and releasing of people with varied and mystical gifts in order to create culture. Alpha leaders value control, servant leaders value collaboration. Alpha leaders value individualism, servant leaders value community. Alpha leaders value affluence, servant leaders value influence.

Today, it is through viral loops that movements really snowball. In their latest issue, Fast Company says, “A destination such as Facebook grows via invitations, with each “friend” reaching out to her own set of contacts, which in turn do the same. More than half of the undergraduate population at Harvard joined within a month of Facebook’s 2004 launch; four years later, it has 67 million active users. And at its current 3% weekly expansion rate, it will have 200 million users by the end of the year, equal to the population of the fifth-largest nation on earth.”

This is not yesterday. It is today. Millions of cultural creatives offer a more hopeful future(s) and are converging for profound change. This convergence is a quiet revolution without manifestos or alpha leaders. This story is one that begs ten thousand tellers and then ten times more to be inspired by it.

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This is a repost of an essay I wrote May 9, 2008 as a guest blogger for Hugh Hewitt

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The modern pens of Mark Twain, Jack London, Sir Walter Scott, Charles Dickens, Emily Bronte transported me from poverty, as if on a magic carpet ride, to riches. After a boring black and white day at school I would rush home and plunge myself into the sensual worlds of Huckleberry Finn, Lemuel Gulliver, the Black Knight, Uriah Heep, and Heathcliff.

I fell passionately in love with reading. It is a torrid affair I indulge to this day.

Growing older, and if anything, intensifying  my voracious reading addiction, I came to understand (no thanks to my public schools and universities) how surface my reading was. I realized in order to understand the scope of the world and to be a credible influencer, I  must read “deep and wide.” In support of this idea, I recommend reading a wonderful blog post In Defense of Old Books my dear friend Michael Hyatt recently wrote based on the C.S. Lewis introduction to On Incarnation by St. Athanasius.

Five authors that have wrought profound influence upon my reading have taken time to compile lists of what they call “Super Texts“, “Genius”, “World’s Best”, “Reality”, and “Must Reads”.

— The Joy of Reading: A Passionate Guide to 189 of the World’s Best Authors and Their Works Charles Van Doren

— Genius: A Mosaic of One Hundred Exemplary Creative Minds Harold Bloom

— The Contrarian’s Guide to Leadership Dr. Steve Sample

— Reality and the Vision: Eighteen Christian Authors Reveal What They Read and Why : Essays by Members of the Chrysostom Society Ed. Philip Yancey

— In, But Not Of: A Guide to Christian Ambition Hugh Hewitt

True, the above five books are written by modern writers, but they provide a diverse and fairly comprehensive guide to old books that Sample says, “permeate the wallpaper of our society.” And because of the invaluable information they contain, I consider them must-reads for every leader and influencer.

I thought it valuable to cross-reference these five books and choose only the “super texts” that occur across the board in all their recommendations (there are a few exceptions). I must admit it was a very difficult task that required leaving out a few books I felt strongly should have made this list of must-reads. But, nonetheless, here it is. A very short list of what I boldly (some might say naively) call the greatest of the world’s greatest books.

The first five are easy.

— Judeo-Christian Bible

— Qur’an

— Bhagavad Gita

— Pali Canon of Buddhism

— Analects of Confucius

Then it becomes a little more difficult.

— Republic Plato

— Politics Aristotle

— Hamlet, As You Like It, Henry IV, Sonnet 129 Shakespeare

— Iliad, Odyssey Homer

— The History (selections—read as much as you can or want to)  Herodotus

—Oedipus Rex, Antigone, Philoctetes (for artists) Sophocles

— Divine Comedy (John Ciardi translation) Dante

— Essays (Donald Frame Translation) Montaigne

— Don Quixote Cervantes

—The Prince Machiavelli

Then even more difficult for consensus.

— Aeneid Virgil

— The Oresteia Aeschylus

— Lives of the Noble Greeks and Romans (selections) Plutarch

— Beowulf

— Canterbury Tales Chaucer

— War and Peace Tolstoy

— Crime and Punishment Dostoevsky

— Pensees Pascal

— Poems Donne

— Selected Poems Byron & Keats

As we progress to modernity, the choices become immeasurably more difficult. Perhaps I’ll have a go at that later.

Sample says, “One of the greatest fallacies of our age is the belief that we are fundamentally different from our ancient forebears. What nonsense! …We are every bit as human, and no more human, than the characters of the Old Testament or the people of sixteenth-century Florence…Our basic natures are identical to theirs. And the supertexts, more than contemporary literature, do an excellent job of helping us understand this timelessness of human nature.”

Hewitt says, “If the prospect of reading—a lot—daunts you, then you’re not serious about genuine influence.”

Yancey says, “Across time and generations, books carry the thoughts and feelings, the essence, of the human spirit.”

Van Doren says, “It is important to gain the confidence to attempt nearly any book.”

Bloom says, “Our desire for the transcendental and extraordinary seems part of our common heritage, and abandons us slowly, and never completely.”

As C.S. Lewis states, “Don’t read what others say about the great books, have the courage to read them yourselves.”

Which of these books have you completed?

How have they influenced you?

Which ONE of these books will you vow to attempt next?

Do you take issue with my list?

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With few exceptions, you can gauge the measure of a man in the eyes of his wife.

Knowing this truth during the interview process of my career could have spared me great heartache. As a young man, I was taught it was vital to look into the eyes of the prospective leader.  But after a thirty year career and working under five highly charismatic men, I now realize the successful leader’s eyes provide only one aspect of the onerous tale of ascent to lofty places.

The eyes of the wife speak more truth than a thousand wooing words a man can utter. In the interview process, always have dinner with your prospective boss and his wife. Take time to see the untold story that lies behind her eyes. Look carefully and deeply, for your future could be at stake.

I realize that I’m completely neglecting the possibility the boss could be a woman. I understand that. But the point of this story (and my life experience) is that of a male leader. I would greatly value someone’s experience of the opposite scenario.

Here are six types of wives eyes that have mostly haunted and rarely encouraged my career.

1.) Neglected Eyes — These eyes can be found in the leader’s wife who realizes the adoration and attention of fawning followers will never be directed her way. Her job is to be invisible. She does not receive acknowledgment by the followers in awe of her celebrity leader, nor is she acknowledged or included by her husband. His need for affirmation and worship is too insatiable to be shared—with anyone. She is a wallflower who knows her place. Most people have difficulty remembering her name and she is rarely, if ever, introduced as an equal by her husband.

2.) Hungry Eyes — Be very careful grasshopper. These eyes could wreck your career forever. They are a lose-lose glimpse into a gray vortex of destruction. Yes, it’s flattering. Yes, it’s titillating. Yes, its tempting. But the husband leader who has left her empty and wanting, once betrayed, will usually redirect the hatred of himself to everyone within reach. And a thousand woes be to the one who dares replace him by succoring his hungry wife.

3.) Spurned Eyes — The eyes of this wife tell the tale of a husband’s passionate, all-consuming illicit lover. His job. William Congreve in a play called The Mourning Bride writes this infamous line, “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned / Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.” The hatred of the spurned woman for both husband and lover seethe underneath her eyes like a smoldering inferno. She may attempt to kill her husband’s lover by slowly and subtly undermining and destroying it. Beware.

4.) Entitled Eyes — These eyes could be the most dangerous. She controls her husband and his job. The church or corporation is her fiefdom. Sure, to the public, it seems as if the charismatic male is the leader, but make no mistake, this woman has no equal. Cross her—and you are mysteriously and suddenly gone. Somehow, she has found a way to control or blackmail the man leader and lock him in a vise-grip of control. No matter how wonderful he seems, if you see the eyes of entitlement in the wife—run away as fast as you can.

5.) Puppy Eyes — These are the fawning eyes of a humble servant. A woman who knows her “biblical” place. Look deeply into these eyes and all you find is empty slavery. If you are brave enough to look deeper—you will find utter despair. No opinion. No disagreement. Her job is to do her husband’s bidding. Challenge him. God forbid. The leader/man who encourages this behavior is a weak person indeed. He is half the man he could be.

6.) Fulfilled Eyes —Ah, yes. A rare and beautiful sight. These are the eyes of an equal. A woman who is “comfortable in her own skin” and “in touch with her soul.” She is valued by her husband as a person of inestimable worth. And she handles it with aplomb. A teammate in every sense of the word. No matter if that entails motherhood, business advice, sexual intimacy, leadership or candid conversation, she thrills to the challenge. The husband/leader acknowledges her invaluable contribution to his success in a healthy manner.  She comes first, then family, followed by the job. There is an obvious mutual respect. Candid discourse and challenge is meted out and encouraged by both male and female. No neglect, hunger, scorn, entitlement, or fawning in these eyes. Just confidence and freedom to be who she was created to be.

Have you ever looked into one of these eyes?

Have I missed one?

I value your candid thoughts.

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On a recent extended sabbatical nestled in a remote cabin in the stunning Colorado Rockies, upon evaluating the past thirty years of my vocational and pastoral life, it became apparent the one thing that brought me more fulfillment than any other was mentoring. Hands down. It is a win-win scenario. The mentor learns and benefits just as much (or more) as the mentee.

The mantra I have chosen to describe my life calling reflects this passion for mentoring. It is “to influence influencers.” It occurs to me as I write, that it would be hard to find a better definition for mentoring.

I’m sure that upon psychoanalysis, it will be apparent that my passion “to influence influencers” is directly proportional to the dearth of those male influencers in my life. It has been an almost impossible task to find a personal older mentor  – and I find that most young men desperately yearn for someone in this capacity.

So, here are seven “real-world” lessons I’ve learned hoping that more of us will accept this challenge to benefit others through this marvelous gift either as influencer or influencee.

1. Be secure in who you are. That is, be comfortable in your own skin. Don’t try to be someone you are not. No matter how famous (or not), mentees need us to be who we are- not who we think they want us to be.

2. Don’t feel like you always must have an answer. If listening is an art, then true listening is genius. Don’t feel as if you must always be a “one-upper” or “name-dropper” to gain respect of your mentees. You will constantly be thinking about your next story or life experience, instead of what they really need – which is a true listener. Over the years, I have found having the answer is not the important thing, it is having a listening ear.

3. Be restless in your journey, but confident in your destination. In other words, don’t get stuck. Always be a learner. Sure, have definable life goals, but throw away that old adage “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Be restless but confident. Be willing to change but prepared with a plan. Your young mentees will then be able to function as reciprocal teachers and guides.

4. Celebrate the joys and the sorrows with equal gusto. Someone once said, it’s not hard to find someone to cry with you in grief, but its tough to find someone who will sincerely rejoice with you in success. A true mentor must be prepared and willing to celebrate a mentee that far surpasses his own ability and accomplishments. And of course, be there in the dark times of suffering as well.

5. Be a voracious reader. In the past, I would only gently suggest that great leaders need to read. But in today’s world of radical discontinuity, it is a must for any mentor who desires to influence influencers. Read deep and wide. The Internet, books and magazines. Read the classic “super-texts” and books of contemporary thought. Read fiction and non-fiction. Read hardback, paperback, online, via audio or Kindle – but READ. I feel it is impossible to be a multi-dimensional mentor with layers without experiencing the joy, knowledge, and discipline of daily reading.

6. Don’t be devastated by rejection. A mentee may one day realize that you are not the one to effectively mentor him. A true mentor can handle this – because effective mentorship for that person is more important than the mentor’s ego. Also, many mentees never stop to say thanks, nor will they remember who “brought them to the dance” – especially when the mentee experiences great success. It hurts. It sucks. But it’s true. It is always important to remember the goal. A mentor must not primarily desire acknowledgment, but rather desire above all else to influence influencers.

7. Don’t be surprised by separation. I once read that many mentoring relationships go through a difficult separation. In our transient society, expect seasonal mentorships. Looking back after thirty years of mentoring, the last ten in a disciplined manner, many of the mentees I felt would be “blood brothers” to the death are now simply casual acquaintances. Life ebbs and flows. That’s just the way it is. BUT, the blood brothers I do have as mentees and friends, and the life lived with every person, separated or not, are worth more than life itself. Because life without relationship, grasshopper, is meaningless.

Finally,  have you ever experienced a mentoring/menteeing relationship?

Are you currently in a mentoring relationship?

Would you want something like this?

Your thoughts?

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