Letters from the Terrace

I’m 67, active, healthy, and still having incredible sex (without medication).

There. I said it. The thing Americans my age aren’t supposed to admit—because my birth country, America, is what researchers call “one of the most ageist societies on earth.”

But here’s what I’ve discovered after two years in Barcelona: chronological age tells you almost nothing about a person’s vitality. Attitude, culture, and lifestyle tell you everything.

The Bismarck Trap

We’re still living by Otto von Bismarck’s 1880s retirement blueprint—when life expectancy was 40, and most workers never made it to pension age. His arbitrary 65 number has haunted us for nearly 150 years, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy that aging means declining.

Yale psychologist Becca Levy’s research proves this prophecy works: older adults who absorb negative attitudes about aging die an average of 7.5 years sooner than peers with positive attitudes. They’re less mobile, have poorer memory, and recover more slowly from illness.

Think about that. Your beliefs about aging literally determine how well you age.

The Barcelona Effect

When Gina and I lived in St. Petersburg, Florida—supposedly a retirement paradise—we were treated like we’d already checked out of life. Invisible. Dismissed. Useless. We internalized ageism and began to feel it in our bodies.

Barcelona changed everything.

Here, my 84-year-old neighbor Josef runs multiple businesses, stands arrow-straight, and lives with more vitality than most 50-year-olds I knew in America. The 90-year-olds in my neighborhood walk daily to the markets, navigate metro stairs without hesitation, and eat dinner at 9 pm with friends.

The Spanish have beautiful words that capture this: jubilado (retired—literally “jubilant”), tranquilo (peaceful), sobremesa (the art of lingering at the table after meals). Older people aren’t invisible here—they’re respected for their wisdom and experience.

My Barcelona Dashboard

My lifestyle here has transformed all four of my essentials—Body, Mind, Soul, Spirit:

I walk 10,000 steps daily through ancient streets. I swim 35-50 laps in our Olympic-size pool. I lift weights twice weekly. The Mediterranean diet—fresh produce, virtually zero ultra-processed foods, seafood straight from the sea—has my body functioning better than it did at 55.

I sleep eight peaceful hours. My mind stays sharp through voracious reading, watercolor painting, and learning Spanish. My soul thrives through regular outings with friends (ironically, all 20-30 years younger). My spirit soars in a city that celebrates sensuality rather than censoring it.

I still feel 50. Maybe 45 on good days.

The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

Japanese researchers tracking physical capacity over decades discovered something remarkable: today’s 75-year-olds walk faster than 70-year-olds did a generation ago. We’re not just living longer—we’re staying physically capable far longer than our recent ancestors.

Yet American culture keeps telling us we’re old, declining, and irrelevant. And many of us believe it.

I’ve stopped believing it.

I reject the notion that there’s a useful universal demarcation between middle age and old age. I’ll know elderhood when I see it—but it might look entirely different for me than for you.

What’s the New 60?

If 70 is the new 60 in America, what’s the new 60 in Barcelona? Based on my neighbor Josef and the centenarians, I see navigating this city with grace and vigor.

Maybe there is no “new 60.” That may be the wrong question.

Maybe the right question is: What would happen if we stopped letting a 19th-century German chancellor’s arbitrary number define when we’re supposed to become invisible?

What if we measured aging by walking speed, grip strength, curiosity, passion, and capacity for joy instead of by calendar years?

What if we moved to places—geographic or psychological—that respect rather than ridicule our accumulated wisdom?

I’m 67. I paint nudes in my Barcelona atelier. I explore tantric practices. I climb metro stairs without thinking about it. I make love with passion, vigor, and presence.

And I plan to keep doing all of it for decades to come.

That’s not defying age. That’s simply refusing to believe the lie that my calendar should limit my vitality.

¡Tranquilo, hasta la vista! America. Aging doesn’t have to be what you’ve been told.