Gentle Thoughts for Those of Us Over 40

—Do everything you can to cultivate an inner life, especially since culture is always trying to suck it out of you. 

—Try Meditation. Take 10 minutes in a quiet, private place. Set a timer and mentally recite and repeat “The Serenity Prayer,” or write your own mantra. When your mind strays, be kind to yourself and return to the beginning. Build up to 20 minutes a day. 

—Commit great poems to heart, starting with those by Emily Dickinson and William Blake. Recite them aloud on solitary walks. 

—Compose dirty limericks in your head. 

—Have more and varied sex. With others and with yourself. Buy bottles of flavored lubricant and the best sex toy you can afford. And use them often. 

—Read more for pleasure, less for purpose. Read, immediately, Dr. Louise Aronson’s Elderhood.

—Share sexy selfies with friends you trust. You are not getting any younger. Focus the photos on your favorite body parts. Call on your inner artist.

—Break a long-held taboo.

—Cook more and share your best meal photos and recipes on Instagram.

—Think of Facebook as our generation’s cocaine and get off it. 

—Work hard on keeping a few good friendships, not gaining thousands of followers. 

—Eschew envy, bitterness, and conspiracy theories. Ponder the meaning of the word “truth.” 

—Save and invest enough money so you don’t have to think about it much. 

—Cultivate a resilient and peaceful body, mind, soul, and spirit. 

—Nurture a contrarian opinion or two, especially if it goes against your political side or religious upbringing.

—If you watch FOX “News,” please STOP. Find a more healthy habit. Or better yet, get out of that chair and do something outside. Breathing fresh air on the porch is better than ingesting that fear and anger-inducing propaganda.

—Reserve the right to change your mind—and really do it from time to time. 

—Never join a cause if you aren’t fully familiar with the argument against it. Heed the words of Zora Neale Hurston, “Research is formalized curiosity. It is poking and prying with a purpose.”

—Don’t equate longevity in relationships with meaningful connections. 

—Find your core satisfaction in your self, not a hobby. 

—Laugh more, mostly at yourself.