I found myself at 4 AM , coffee in hand, staring at the final page of my new novella. Not because I was celebrating—though God knows finishing a book deserves a proper toast—but because I was terrified.

The Purging Room had taken me places I didn’t expect to go.

Perhaps you’ve heard about that feeling when you’re writing and suddenly the characters hijack the story? When what started as fiction becomes uncomfortably autobiographical? That’s what happened with Phoenix Adams, my protagonist. The poor bastard walks into a speakeasy looking for oblivion and finds something far more dangerous: the truth about himself.

Here’s the thing about transformation—it’s not the lightning-strike moment we’ve been sold. It’s not accepting Jesus at youth camp or having an epiphany on a mountaintop. Real transformation is messier. It happens in the body, not just the mind. It requires you to face the questions you’ve spent decades avoiding.

Phoenix meets four guides in a mystical room that exists outside ordinary time. Each one dismantles another wall he’s built around himself. Beatrix Potter (yes, that Beatrix Potter) awakens his murdered curiosity. Pauline Réage shows him that pleasure isn’t the enemy of the sacred—it IS sacred. And by the time John O’Donohue offers his Celtic blessing, Phoenix realizes that freedom isn’t found in answers but in finally asking the right questions.

The terrifying part? Writing Phoenix’s journey forced me to confront my own cages. The ones I built during thirty years in ministry. The ones that told me desire was dangerous, questions were prideful, emotions were suspect. The same cages that kept me performing instead of living.

Maybe that’s why I had to write this as fiction. Some truths are too raw for memoir. They need the veil of story to make them bearable—and paradoxically, more real.

The Purging Room isn’t about a magical space in Manhattan. It’s about the room we all carry within us—the one where we’ve locked away everything we’ve been taught is unacceptable. The curious child. The sensual body. The questioning mind. The wild spirit.

What would happen if you opened that door?

The novella releases May 31st. Consider this your invitation to cross the threshold.