Category: Post
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Do I Regret 30 Years of My Life As A Christian Minister?
08/29/2023 Over the past seventeen years, I’ve had several social media comments asking how I reconcile spending thirty years in Evangelical ministry and, in their words, “deceiving people.” These comments deeply wounded me as I struggled with the first half of my life spent making a career in a religion I have renounced. Was all…
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Everybody Wants Rules
08/12/2023 But what if there aren’t any? Really? I’ve found life is too damn messy to be simplified into a list of rules. But everybody wants them. They lap up the next big list of rules. Why? Everyone wants easy answers. See Twitter’s 140 characters. See T***p. See religion. See fundamentalists. See five or ten…
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The Frustration of Being a Man in America
Joe Rogan, Donald T***p, Jason Aldean, Josh Hawley, Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson, Bronze Age Pervert, Tucker Carlson, Mark Driscoll, White Evangelicals, Republicans, and their ilk say that they have the answers to being a real man in America. Watch UFC, buy big guns, buy bigger trucks, learn self-defense, wave big flags, treat women like property,…
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Unlike Jason Aldean, I Grew Up In A Small Town
His new country song “Try That In A Small Town” is, at best, deceptive propaganda and, at worst, a blatant dog whistle (a coded message communicated through words or phrases commonly understood by a particular group of people but not by others). Fact: Aldean grew up in Macon, Georgia, one of the largest cities in…
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My Weekly Wholeness Assessment
Body (My essential is: Sensuality) —Hour-long workout with weights (2 days) —Runs of 5.5 miles (2 Days) —Advanced one-hour spin class (1 day) —Limited alcohol to one cocktail per day (5 days) —Sex (5 days) —Sleep eight hours (7 days) —Mediterranean diet (5 days) Mind (My essential is: Curiosity) —Finished “Once Upon A Tome” by…
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The Quest Essentials Handwritten
I am hand-writing the essential ideas of my latest book, “The Quest,” a few sentences at a time. The ideas are invaluable for those 35 and older approaching or in the second half of life. And I wish to make them accessible to as many people as possible. #TheQuestBook
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Autonomy
For me, autonomy means freedom—to make choices not determined by prior causes or divine intervention. It is one of my four essentials of being (see The Quest) and connected to the spiritual aspect of who I am. As I pursue wholeness and joy in the second half of life, I am making more frequent autonomous…
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Curiosity
Curiosity means endless questioning, like when I was a child, asking about everything, ad infinitum. Who? What? Where? When? How? And perhaps most importantly, Why? It means refusing to take “no” answers as the final word. It prefers questions over answers. A curious mind (the mind is the human aspect directly tied to this essential…
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Father’s Day “Changes”
Seasons change and so did I Oh my children You will too Longings change and so did mine Oh my children Yours will too Beliefs change and so did mine Oh my children Yours will too Fortunes change and so did mine Oh my children Yours will too Families change and so did mine Oh…
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What Was The Last Book You Read?
We were watching Jimmy Kimmel Show as they did a street interview asking people what the last book they had read was. Not one could think of the last time they read a book. Not one. This absence of reading is inconceivable to me. Reading brings me joy, and there is rarely, if ever, a…
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Second Half of Life Questionnaire
I recently found this fascinating questionnaire by Oldster Magazine and promptly filled it out. Most people seem to feel about 20% younger than their actual age. Please take some time to complete it and then post it in a comment below. It will take a bit of time, and it is personal, so if no one does…
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Random Ways To Enjoy Life After Age 40
—Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to. —Discover your natural personality and how to make the most of it. —Develop a newfound sense of entitlement to be yourself. —Love knowledge for its own sake, not necessarily as a blueprint to action. Pursue an activity for its…
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Kitchen Appliances & Utensils I Could Not Live Without
(In No Particular Order) 1. Samsung Induction Oven—I was induction before induction was cool. Now that the gas oven hoopla has surfaced, everyone is talking about induction. I first discovered the technology by accident at the farm in 2015. Our Samsung Chef Collection oven malfunctioned, and because we were so remote—they asked if they could…
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The Evangelical Flight of Creatives
It is heartbreaking to receive countless texts, private messages, and calls from creatives forced to resign from Evangelical churches worldwide, particularly in America. It has become an epidemic. I have been out of the cultic fray for almost seventeen years, yet I still have a public and vocal presence on social networks. And because I…
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The Artist as Dionysus
As I read and continue researching the quest to enjoy the second half of life, Dionysus repeatedly surfaces as the “god-like” archetype I most identify with. Dionysus is the nature god of fruitfulness, theatre, and vegetation, especially known as a god of wine and ecstasy. Historically, he is depicted in art as an androgynous, long-haired…
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Why Does God (and His Followers) Hate My Penis?
If one believes the creation myth, the ideal Adam and Eve were created nude. Then God proclaimed, “It was good…except for Adam’s penis.” Nope. The story did not include a disclaimer. It seems that God was quite pleased with his handiwork. Ahem. I’m sure Adam had an uncircumcised tool that John Holmes would have envied….
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Candid Thoughts on Baring It All (Nude Beaches)
I write about the meaning of our sexual fantasies in my latest book, “The Quest.” In it, I mention renowned sex therapist Robert Stoller and his insightful observation that our porn preferences reveal our personal myths—our life stories—things we have repressed, our attachment styles, our hidden longings, and more. Psychologists describe levels of porn. For…
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Books I…
BOOK I HATE: “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren BOOK I THINK IS OVERRATED: “The Road” by Cormac McCarthy BOOK I THINK IS UNDERRATED: “Elderhood” by Louise Aronson BOOK I LOVE: “The Magus” by John Fowles BOOK I CAN READ OVER AND OVER AGAIN: “A Moveable Feast” by Ernest Hemingway BOOK THAT MADE ME…
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What Kind of Reader Are You?
Growing up in a hyper-religious ultra-conservative old-time pentecostal preacher’s home, the only place I found to call my own without fearing ridicule for my ridiculous crewcut and out-of-style clothing, in the rebellious world of the seventies where bell bottoms, tie-dyed t-shirts, and long hair were everything, was the library. I felt so different, out-of-place, and…
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The Making of an Atheist (My Trajectory from Evangelical Minister to Enlightened Humanist)
The journey to enlightenment is invariably complicated, tracing a winding and sometimes traumatic path with many forks and detours along the way. I did not ultimately turn against religion or become a critic of its most prominent leaders simply because they fell short of my youth’s exalted expectations. But watching the evangelical movement navigate the…